I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
