Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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