looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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