is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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