I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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