So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize