nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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