I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
