Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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