Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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