she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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