Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
