i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize