I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
