are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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