Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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