Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
