I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
