I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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