driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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