That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
