wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
