hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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