remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
