the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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