this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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