maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
