Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
