drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
