i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
