Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
