Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
