She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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