I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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