I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
