Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
