we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
