At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
