I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize