Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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