His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
