oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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