They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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