I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
