Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
only you would photoshop your dick
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
