So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize