so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
