I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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