They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
