I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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