Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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