My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So vagazzling was a success
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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