can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars