i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips