she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
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so let's talk penis.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.