So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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