just come out here and I will go home with you...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
do nipples grow back?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize