some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.