The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
