my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
