when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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