Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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