maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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