why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
