No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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