How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
