I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
