Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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